


Error 538

by Miistical



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Android/Human, Don't @ Me, F/M, Humor, Oral Sex, Smut, Vaginal Sex, if anything this is really funny, this is way longer than it should be and it shows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 04:29:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14992784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miistical/pseuds/Miistical
Summary: "Look, Connor, before you get roped into anything, I have to know if you've ever - I mean," Hank waved his hands around. "Have you ever thought about—you know, about, things?"Connor blinked. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant, but I don't know what you're talking about."Hank made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. "God, Connor, have you ever thought about or considered other people in-in certain ways?""In what kind of ways?" Connor asked, head tilted.





	Error 538

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SkyBlueSiha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyBlueSiha/gifts).



> Fun fact: this was written by an asexual virgin and it shows. Art by Sky herself!
> 
> Feel free to follow me on tumblr @miistical and follow her on tumblr @sky-blue-siha

 

 

"You know, when I said 'an android friendly place', I didn't mean  _this_."

  
Connor leaned his elbow against the bar, his cheek held up by his palm. He watched with coolly amused eyes as Hank took another sip of his mystery alcohol. Connor made a show of looking around the Eden Club, his eyes innocently wide when he looked back at his partner. "I don't know what you mean, Hank."   
  
The lieutenant pointed at him. "You're a lil' shit and you  _know it_."   
  
"I apologize that you feel that way," Connor said, tone unapologetic.   
  
Truthfully, Connor was having far too much fun teasing Hank. It was an odd thing, being amused for amusement's sake. It hadn't even been a month since he had his break of deviancy, but Connor had already settled easily in  _feeling_. There was the occasional programming error, but it was fortunate that he was not going through it alone. That shared experience was part of the reason he chose the bar as their evening hideout.  
  
The Eden Club had been transformed. While some of the androids were still sex workers, it was an android run club; it was something they could call theirs, a thing some deviants desperately needed. It was a surprising start to mixed venues, but it came with good music and good alcohol, so no android nor human could complain. Even Connor, who was still reserved in ways Hank never was, found Eden relaxing.  
  
And by the way Hank happily downed his alcohol, he felt the same.  
  
Hank slammed his glass on the bar. Connor glanced at the empty cup and said, "Lieutenant, I do not mean to alarm you, but I think you have an alcohol dependency."  
  
The look he got in return was deadpan enough for Connor to laugh. He chuckled, the hand he had been leaning on now covering his mouth. Any sarcasm Hank tried to muster dried up once he spotted the lines crinkling the corners of Connor's eyes. He huffed instead, waving his hand back and forth with all the grace he possessed—approximately none at all.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, make fun of an old man."  
  
Connor smiled at him. "You are 53 years old, Hank. I do not think that qualifies you as old."  
  
Hank snorted and waved down the bartender. "Yeah, it means I'm fuckin'  _dirt_."  
  
Sighing, Connor shook his head and resumed scanning the club. There was a surprising amount of humans present, though they were quite outnumbered. Connor eyed a human nuzzling into the neck of an android and concluded that they did not mind it much. He turned to the other side of the club, catching the eye of another human. She smiled at him, her glass raised in a mock salute. The woman brought her glass back to her mouth and winked. Connor's eyebrows shot up and he smiled back, bemused and a little interested in what she would do next.  
  
The woman's smile widened, but Connor's attention was once again on Hank before she could do much else.  
  
Connor glanced at the hand on his shoulder, eyes flicking between it and Hank's face. "Yes?"  
  
Hank squinted at Connor's face before he made a scene of leaning around him. Connor turned back to see what had caught Hank's attention, seeing nothing more than the woman he had just been looking at. Connor shrugged helplessly when she noticed them back. He could see her laugh from across the floor.  
  
Before Connor could say anything, Hank forcibly turned Connor back around. "Hank," Connor started, perplexed, "what are you doing?"  
  
"Look, Connor, before you get roped into anything, I have to know if you've ever - I mean," Hank waved his hands around. "Have you ever thought about—you know, about,  _things_?"  
  
Connor blinked. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant, but I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
Hank made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. "God, Connor, have you ever thought about or considered other people in-in certain ways?"  
  
"In what kind of ways?" Connor asked, head tilted.  
  
"Like - in  _ways_ , Connor!" Hank blustered about until he saw the smirk curling at Connor's lips. He sighed, took a look at the shot he had ordered earlier, and downed the whole thing in one go. Hank wiped his mouth, pointed right at Connor's face, and said, "Do you have a  _dick_ , Connor?!"  
  
Spluttering, Connor bent over the bar, laughing hard enough to shake. Hank sat next to him, his curses drowned out by the mix of music and Connor's mirth.  
  
Connor finally managed to stand back upright, his palm pressed into his chest. "Why,  _Lieutenant_ , are you asking me if I was made with copulation in mind?"  
  
Hank sighed and buried his face in his hands. "God  _damn it_ , Connor."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, would you prefer I use the term fucking?" His eyes shined.  
  
"For fuck's sake, Connor!"  
  
The exclamation sent Connor into another fit of laughter. The android working the bar laughed as well, finding Hank's questions just as hilariously awkward. Connor managed to get himself back together, incredibly thrilled to find himself able to laugh like that at all.  
  
He ran a hand through his hair. "CyberLife made me as life-like as possible. So, to answer your question, I do have a—"  
  
"Please," Hank nearly whimpered, his hand raised as if to ward off evil, "don't say it out loud. Let me have that at least."  
  
Connor gently pat Hank on the back, his smile not losing its smug curl. He shared a look with the bartender, the both of them reveling in the moment of enjoyment over the lieutenant's misery. Connor's smile softened and turned back to Hank, about to ask him if he wanted to leave when a shadow came upon his elbow.  
  
He turned, somehow both surprised and not at all to see the woman from earlier. She was as beautiful up close as she was from a distance and Connor greeted her warmly.  
  
"Hello, what can I do for you?" Connor asked.  
  
The woman tipped forward just enough to sway into Connor's personal space. "Well, I saw you and I was just wondering—are you  _that_  Connor? The one that helped the deviants a month back?"  
  
Connor blinked, pleasantly surprised. "Yes, I am that specific RK800 android."  
  
"Oh  _wow_ , that was a sight. You were all so imposing - me and my friends couldn't look away!" She paused and laughed a little, a blush staining her cheeks. "Shit, I totally forgot to introduce myself. I'm Sophia, it's nice to meet you."  
  
Connor took her hand and shook it, her grip tightening before he could pull away. "You know," Sophia leaned in even further, "I had always wanted to know some things - if you don't mind sharing, of course."  
  
The alcohol on her breath was obvious, but Connor couldn't tell if she was only mildly tipsy or if she was drunk. Sophia seemed in her right mind, though, so Connor happily prompted her question.  
  
"Well, like, do you deviants or androids or whatever... you know,  _feel_  the way humans do?"  
  
"Feel? In what way?" he asked, something telling him he already knew what she meant. Connor wondered if he should talk to Markus if every human he talked to was going to ask that same question.  
  
Sophia blushed, but she made sure to not look away. "Attraction, I suppose? I know the androids in Eden were made for that kind of stuff, but do deviants ever want the same type of - of intimacy?"  
  
Connor smiled at her wording, utterly charmed. He had to quietly admit it: humans could be so very endearing. While Connor mulled over her question, he could hear Hank behind him muttering to the bartender.  
  
"What in the fuck is - are you  _seeing_ this?" Hank asked. All he got in return was the bartender's laughter.  
  
Swallowing his own laughter, Connor focused back on Sohpia. "I can't say that I am familiar with all of the other deviants of Detroit, but I do know some of us can experience certain types of attraction, yes."  
  
Sohpia's eyes brightened. "Really? Like, they fall in love?"  
  
Connor nodded. He said, "Well, I'd like to believe it's love. A friend of mine is in a relationship of his own with another android." Connor paused and thought back to his first days as Hank's partner. "I also remember two deviant women who were in a relationship together. They used to work here, actually."  
  
"Whoa," Sophia breathed. "That's honestly really sweet." She ducked her head for a moment before looking back up. She was so close that Connor could make out the green in her otherwise brown eyes. "What about you?"  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Yeah, you," she huffed a small laugh. "Are you attracted to anybody?"  
  
Connor shifted. "Oh, well—"  
  
"Oh  _yeah_ ," came from over Connor's shoulder, "he's a real fancy new android that can feel  _anything_."  
  
Connor turned to Hank, exasperated. " _Hank_ , please - I'm very sorry about my partner—"  
  
"Partner?" Sophia blurted.  
  
"We work together, sweetheart, nothin' more." Hank leaned around Connor. "He's like a son to me—or, at least, a very annoying kid brother."  
  
" _Lieutenant_ ," Connor tried to scold, but the warmth in his tone cut through any authority he possibly had. "If this is because of earlier—"  
  
Sophia cut in, "Earlier?"  
  
Hank quickly talked over Connor, "Oh, don't you worry about it! Uh, here!" Hank pushed Connor forward, the other man's arms shooting out to catch himself - only to end up on Sophia's waist. "Go on, Connor, have some fun with the nice lady."  
  
"Oh! Um, I'm sorry if this isn't something, uh, I mean—"  
  
Connor smoothly stepped away from the bar, his hands pulling her with him. He shot Hank an exasperated look. "I think it's quite alright."  
  
Sophia nearly glowed and she quickly lead him to an empty room. Right before Connor got lost between people, he swore he could hear Hank mutter, "How in the good hell did I become a fuckin' android's wingman?"  
  
When they made it into the room, the soft click of the door cut off all the sound from outside. There was only a soft thumping left, but that could have been Sophia's heartbeat with how hard it beat against her rib cage. Connor could nearly hear it.  
  
"So, um," Sophia asked, "have you, like, ever done...  _this_  before?"  
  
Connor put his hands behind his back, holding them together. "Well, no, but my manufacturing and programming allows me to access the full comprehension of—"  
  
He cut himself off, watching as Sophia seemed to curl into herself more and more. Connor began to run a background internet-wide search, allowing the information to sink into his software. He slowly walked forward, giving the downloads time to settle.  
  
Eyes now projecting something warmer, Connor unclasped his hands and ran them down Sophia's upper arms. "To answer your question," he said, his voice hushed, "I have never done anything like this before, but I am very willing to try."  
  
Sophia blinked with wide eyes. "I've - I've never really done this either! With an android, I mean. I'm just, I'm sorry—I don't know why this is rattling me so much."  
  
Connor narrowed his eyes and set about scanning Sophia for any facial recognition on the internet. Almost instantly, he found her Facebook profile, along with her other social media accounts. Though he didn't care to look through her privacy, he also wanted to make sure she was comfortable in his presence.  
  
In only a few seconds, Connor had gotten all of her old complaints of past boyfriends sexual exploits as well as her surprisingly tame online pornography collection. He smiled at Sophia, pleased to have this opportunity of turning what  _had_ been an unpleasant weekend into something much better.  
  
"Don't worry, Sophia, I promise I will take  _very_  good care of you." Connor let his fingertips glide over Sophia's arms and down her waist until he reached her hips.  
  
"Oh," Sophia said breathlessly. She cleared her throat. "Okay."  
  
"Perfect!" Connor said before tightening his grip and picking her up. Sophia squeaked and grabbed at his shoulders. Arms secure right under her ass, Connor easily strode over to the bed. In a single, smooth move, he knelt on top of the covers, gently lowering Sophia beneath him.  
  
Her breath hitched as she hit the silk sheets, the sweet way Connor had held her knocking the breath out of her faster than anything else. Connor reached for her face, cupping her cheek for a brief moment before moving some hair out of her eyes. He smiled down at her, pleased to find her heart rate already elevated.   
  
"Was that okay?" Connor asked, voice low.  
  
Sophia flushed at his tone. "Oh,  _yes_."  
  
Connor slowly pressed himself over Sophia's entire body. While Sophia sighed at the contact, Connor found himself mesmerized by how  _soft_  she was. The flesh of her hips gave way to his hands, his thumbs sure to be leaving prints in the dimples of her pelvis. He took a moment to dig his thumbs into her hipbones, reveling in the way she felt, before Sophia let out of hum of pleasure. Connor looked up and grinned at her blissful look.  
  
"Please make sure to tell me if I'm doing anything you don't thoroughly enjoy," Connor murmured, eyes tracking the movement of Sophia's breathing. He eyed her pink cheeks and wondered how much it would take to make her blush along the length of her entire body.  
  
"You know," Sophia said, a knowing glint saying she had a good idea of Connor's thoughts, "you saying that should not be as hot as it is."  
  
Connor smothered a laugh into the fabric of Sophia's shirt; she did not even bother trying to hide hers. Connor moved until his face was right at the edge of her shirt instead of buried into her side. He felt a lurch in his lower abdomen and his hands twitched. Letting out a breath he logically knew he didn't need, Connor slowly ran his fingertips across the skin between Sophia's shirt and shorts. He slipped his hands beneath it, slowly rolling it up and over her chest.  
  
Hands just before her bra, Connor let them rest across her ribs. He looked up, searching for consent in her gaze—something Sophia was only too eager to give. The next few minutes were of the same soft touches as they each slowly removed the other's clothes. Connor took his time in running his hands over every inch of skin, testing to see how each brush of skin affected her - and how he could recreate those sensations elsewhere. Sophia just let her hands wander as they wished, marveling over the smooth texture of Connor's chest and arms.  
  
Each piece of clothing removed came with a whispered compliment. Neither of them knew for sure who was saying what, but both were murmuring along muscle lines and stretch marks. Sophia delighted in the give of his skin—as life like as possible didn't cut it. Connor reveled in the touches with quiet patience, though he did laugh when Sophia made a grab at his ass. She giggled and kissed his shoulder.  
  
When they finally kissed, clothing completely removed, it felt as if they had years to practice with one another.  
  
Connor let Sophia press herself against his chest, his hands sliding from the back of her thighs to her lower back. Their kiss was messy and too noisy for the room, their lips sliding together, hot and open mouthed. Connor could feel his internal fans begin, trying to cool the heat that was steadily building beneath his skin. Sophia could only run her smaller hands down his skin - she grabbed anything she could get a hold of, dig her nails into.  
  
"Oh my  _God_ ," Sophia gasped. Connor swallowed it in another kiss, before following the line of her throat. He ran his tongue over her skin, his teeth following closely. Sophia swore, back arching as Connor left marks down to her collar bones.  
  
Not wanting to be outdone, Sophia reached down and stroked Connor from base to tip. Connor's hips jerked in her hand, and he swore into the dip of her throat. Sophia brought Connor's face back up to her, and they both groaned into each other's mouth as Connor's hips ground into her.  
  
Dipping down, Connor tracked out a path down her stomach, hands slowly parting her thighs. He bit into Sophia's soft inner thigh, smirking at her hiss.  
  
Her hands shot down to grab at Connor's shoulders, nails leaving surprisingly deep crescents. Connor glanced at her, eyes smoldering, and asked, "Do you mind if I try something?"  
  
Sophia panted, "Uh - yeah sure, Connor."  
  
All Sophia got back was a grin and then all she could see was dark hair. Sophia jumped and groaned, head thrown back.  
  
Connor ran his tongue down her clit, using the tip as he went down, only to flatten it out as he went back up. Expertly ignoring the data collected, he added a note to himself to erase those files later. Careful of his teeth, Connor latched his mouth onto her and sucked.  
  
Sophia's back arched, a strangled sound escaping her throat. Connor didn't slow down, easily falling into a fast rhythm. His tongue dipped into her over and over again, before sliding back up to rub at her clit. One hand kept her spread, but the other slowly inched its way closer.   
  
Connor finally got the reaction he wanted. Sophia screamed as Connor went down at the same time he pushed a single finger into her. With quick thrusts that left her dizzy, Connor fucked her wet and open with his tongue and finger. Just as Sophia finally caught her breath, Connor ran his tongue back up and added a second finger. By the time Connor had three fingers pumping steadily in and out, Sophia had ripped into the comforter, lips slick with spit and bitten raw.  
  
Fingers still shallowly pumping in and out, Connor came back up, eyes focused on Sophia's face. "How much more do you think it'd take to make you cum?" His voice was agonizingly steady.  
  
Sophia hadn't realized what a delightful asshole an android could be in the bedroom.  
  
" _Fuck_ , well," Sophia moaned, "not - not much—!"  
  
Connor had latched his mouth back onto her clit and Sophia couldn't take the firm pressure. Back arched and mouth hung open, Sophia dug her hands into Connor's hair, not certain if she wanted him away or closer. Connor made sure to fuck her through her orgasm, still sucking while she pulsed around his fingers.  
  
When she finally slumped, chest heaving, Connor rose to his knees. Looking Sophia in the eyes, Connor sucked on his fingers, tongue curling around them. Sophia thumped her head back, muttering profanity to herself as Connor just grinned at her. He leaned over, hands on either side of her waist, and licked his lips, purring, "You taste  _extremely_  well."  
  
"Holy shit, are all of you like this?"   
  
Connor hummed, one hand moving to trace the curve of her collarbones. "I cannot say for certain, but should another deviant find someone as lovely as you, then perhaps."  
  
Sophia muttered, "When did you get all smooth?"  
  
He laughed, ducking down to kiss her back into breathlessness. Tongues tangled and Connor's hands slowly kneading her breasts, Sophia felt the sparks of arousal begin again. She wiggled, bucking her hips into Connor's still hard cock—silicon never looked so good to her.  
  
"We should - huh, we should probably,  _fuck_ —Connor, we need a condom," Sophia tried to gasp out.  
  
Connor didn't bother stopping. "We can if you so wish, but I would like to point out that I am incapable of spreading diseases or getting you pregnant. However, should you want me to use one, I'm certain I can pleasure you just as well."  
  
A flash of heat ran down Sophia's body at the sheer confidence in Connor's words. She whined, thumping the pillow next to her. "That should  _not_ be as sexy as it is!"  
  
Connor laughed, the vibrations sending tiny zaps up her spine. Sophia groaned, "Fine, oh my God, screw the condom. Connor,  _please_ , just fuck me already."  
  
"I do believe," Connor said, voice low, "that it would be my  _pleasure_."  
  
He leaned back on his knees, hands easily parting her legs, but was utterly unprepared for the sight of Sophia spreading herself open for him. Connor's programming opened a multitude of error notices, along with an overheating warning. It took him a second to ignore the notifications and stretch back over her, one hand braced beside her head.  
  
Connor shifted forward, his hand stroking his cock, slowly guiding it forward. He teasingly rubbed the head across her entrance, waiting for the moment he knew Sophia couldn't take it any longer. She whined, her nails scratching at his back, and Connor sank into her in a single, smooth thrust. Sophia cursed as Connor paused. She was so much warmer than he thought she'd be—his entire body had lit up as if he had pure nerves instead of wiring. Coil already tightening in his abdomen, Connor pulled back as far as he dared, his hips snapping back instantly.  
  
From what he had gathered earlier, Connor knew of Sophia's more popular exploits. He made sure to keep the pace even, no matter how his nerve receptors sent dizzying shocks to his core. Connor went as hard and as deep as he could, pounding into her fast enough to keep Sophia moaning brokenly.   
  
Arms failing him, Connor dropped to his forearms, mouth on Sophia's throat. She whimpered, Connor's lips and cock setting her entire body alight. Sensitive from her first orgasm, Sophia was already chasing her second.   
  
It didn't take long until his entire vision was filled with a red warning message. Connor panted, trying to force his body to continue. His hips stuttered and he buried his face into Sophia's neck. Wanting her second orgasm to be even better, Connor reached back down to her clit, and rubbed in time with his thrusts.  
  
Sophia finally tipped over, screaming hoarsely as she came. The sudden tightness around Connor's cock had him keening into her throat, the overwhelming error messages drowning out his own moaning as he came.  
  
Connor slumped over, a ringing in his ears the same annoying quality as old dial-up. He tried to open his eyes, but all he got was a bright blue. In the center of the overwhelming color was bold white text: ERROR 404. He could feel his eyes blink, but nothing changed - it was just a continuous blur of blue.   
  
When Connor slowly booted back up, his senses came one at a time. At first he only heard the deep breathing of them both, then the residual taste of Sophia. When his sight came to him, Connor was still blinded by a giant error notice. It wasn't until his feeling came back was he able to fully recover.  
  
Immediately, Connor pushed himself back up. "Oh, I'm very sorry about that, I didn't mean to-to do  _that_."  
  
Sophia snickered, limbs loose and a satisfied gleam in her eyes. "Shit, Connor, I think I just made you  _die_. You don't have to apologize for stroking my ego."  
  
Connor hid behind one of his hands, something like a whine rising in his throat. "Well," he tried to laugh, "it was certainly nicer than I thought it would be."  
  
"Oh, just nice was it?" Sophia stretched out her body, utterly unashamed. "I think you having to do a factory reboot or whatever after cumming could be called something a bit more than just  _nice_. The word orgasmic definitely applies."  
  
Head thrown back, Connor laughed. He stretched his arms across the headboard, a pleased smile on his lips. Sophia snorted and threw a pillow at his face. Connor easily caught it and dropped it off the edge of the bed, an eyebrow raised.  
  
"Now, I don't know how you get cleaned, but  _I_  need to take a shower." Sophia eyed him.  
  
Connor ran a hand through his hair. "I have a specific means of cleaning, and I don't care to find out if I'm not as suited for water as I think I am."  
  
Mouth twisted to the side, Sophia flicked her eyebrows up in defeat. "I suppose that's fair," she said begrudgingly. "Besides, you still got that friend waiting for you; I'd hate to keep you."  
  
"Now, Sophia," Connor said, eyes lit up, "don't sound  _too_ disappointed."  
  
She sighed. "How couldn't I be? You were better than my ex, that's for sure."  
  
"High compliments," Connor murmured as he watched Sophia roll out of the bed. She walked to the bathroom, pausing in the doorway.  
  
"Go get your partner, Connor," she told him before walking in. She stuck her head out before closing the door. "And as nice as your ass is, put on some clothes."  
  
Sophia could hear his laughter before she even closed the door.  
  
Connor sighed and waited until he could hear the sound of the shower. He slipped out of the bed, legs a little unsteady under him. Huffing, he walked over to where they had thrown their clothes. Connor threw his clothes back on, not bothering to straighten his appearance. He stood in the room for a moment before he picked Sophia's clothes up and placed them on the chair near the bathroom.  
  
Careful not to look at the bed lest his fans start up again, Connor walked to the door. He looked down before he opened it and sighed at himself. Quickly, he straightened his pants, tucked and buttoned his shirt back up, and smoothed his hair back. Tugging on his jacket to lessen the wrinkles, Connor nodded and finally left the room.   
  
Instantly scanning the area, Connor was mildly surprised to see Hank still at the bar where he had left him. He walked over, hands in his pockets, and leaned against the bar as he had been when they had first gotten there.  
  
Hank's eyes zeroed in on him. " _Soooooo_ ," Hank drawled, nursing yet another drink, "how'd it  _go_?"  
  
Connor fought back a smirk and cleared his throat. Hank narrowed his eyes and leaned back, squinting at the sight of a clean and neat Connor.   
  
"Well, it was certainly not what I had expected, but it was very pleasant nonetheless." Connor paused and squinted at Hank, not at all fighting his smirk this time. With pure nonchalance, he said, "I hadn't realized my body was suited for ejaculation."  
  
Hank spat out his drink.  
  
The bartender, who had gotten far too used to Hank's mistreatment of his bar top, just sighed. Connor pat Hank on the back and asked, "Will you be okay, lieutenant?"  
  
"Fucking  _shit_ , Connor, warn a man," Hank wheezed. He swore a bit more before he sighed and pushed Connor out of his space.  
  
Connor chuckled as Hank made to stand up. He took Hank's elbow when it was obvious he was about to start swaying. "The next time we go out, you're buying me a drink. Or four."  
  
Hank shook off Connor's arm and stumbled to the door. Connor just smiled and put his hands behind his back. "Of course, lieutenant."


End file.
